Companies surely cant expect people to stick around if the work is BORING

September 1, 2007 6:48 pm 2 comments

Share this Article

Author:

Let’s cook up a discussion on hiring issues again…

Look, seriously — when did everyone just start becoming so self-centered and shameless? “I’m worth a lot y’now” seems to be a phrase that people — fresh grads or people who’ve spent some time somewhere utter shamelessly every chance they get.

In almost 99% of the cases these people are nothing but rhetoric, and almost 99% of the time companies buy that rhetoric — and we wonder why our industry can’t produce high-quality work.

Are you really good? Great! I have a website that just started scaling exponentially from 20 users to 15Million visits a month and counting — go create me an infrastructure that can help me scale in costs linearly with an exponentially increasing user-base. Or go figure out how to fight off a well-planned DDOS attack on multiple streaming nodes in my datacenter. Or go distribute my application across multi-site tiers with transparent replication and distributed data recovery built-in. OR ATLEAST architect this app so that you can minimize the total cost of developing future enhancements and to ensure that we can provide a 15-min first-analysis support guarantee to our priority customers.

Heck, just architect something so that the cost of integrating your code with others and maintaining it diminshes over time and doesn’t infact increase exponentially — you could do that much right?

But you say you’d rather have people utilize you for your “brilliant ideas”? Err.. ok. Go invent a new way for people to think about risk-management in a social context. Figure out what the UI and interaction model should be if that is applied to personal banking. Do it in a month.

Cool problems huh — but if you can do them, I’ll stand corrected. You’re smart, and worth your sweat.

Oh sorry, you have 7-8 years of experience now — maybe you can help me with prioritizing my release schedule to maximize profits over the next 2 years — identify two new markets to enter in the next year and tell me how to maximize the consumer surplus in that market based on interviewing the few thousand types of customers we can expect to support. How can we make an investment bet in technology infrastructure so that 4 years from now we can offer [this solution] to [this market]? Help me penetrate [this market] over the next 3-5 months using [these channels] based on [this PR strategy] — what are the entry points for this market? What are your KPIs and how sensitive is this market to them / what influences those KPIs? What are the price/features mix for this market now and in 5 months? Who is already talking to them?

Again, if you can do these, great — you’re worth your sweat.

But ofcourse you dont care about that — who cares about people asking you to build dumb use-cases after use-cases on dumb user-interaction maps in dumb-websites — you know, CODER STUFF. Its not COOL, and since YOU FEEL that you were better than 95% of your graduating class IN YOUR OPINION, you’re already better than 95% of all companies in a competitve environment.

Thus, if a company doesn’t have COOL stuff to give you, then that company just isn’t worth the holiness and divine presence that you ensue.

Who cares what I have to say anyway — I’m just a “management” type who doesn’t get your “perspective” and “needs” regarding “cool work”.

Maybe someone else could guide you along better — enter the Cranky Product Manager on Agile Methodology:

Yo, yo, yo! Listen up, Enterprise Software Developers. Yeah, you!

The news: The Cranky Product Manager knows that there is a certain percentage of you that doesn’t really care for her or her PM brethren.

And why? Because the Cranky Product Manager is a pain in your ass. Because, YES, she totally cramps your style.

For one thing, the Cranky PM always prioritizes the boring projects higher than creating super-cool new products, or rewriting existing products from scratch. In other words, she wants you to FIX (not completely rewrite) Joe Idiot’s effed-up code so it can handle multiple users. Instead of doing that WICKED COOL feature — the one you pet-named “Extreme E” — that 64-bit, Web 2.0-ish, open source, DRM-defeating wet dream (based on an SOA architecture and Ruby on Rails, of course). You know, the idea that occurred to you in between that mega-bong hit at Softwarehaus’s annual Geekapalooza party and 4am, when you started drunk dialing all your ex-girlfriends.

The other thing the Cranky PM does that is TOTALLY annoying is always say things like “we’re not seeing market demand for Extreme E.” And whenever you try to shoot down her proposed projects as being stupid or irrelevant, she always starts reciting a list of customers who want it or need it, explains the new markets her beloved project would help DysfunctoSoft attack, and then she starts explaining use cases. Ugh. If that wasn’t bad enough, if you persist, she’ll bore you to death with a freakin’ slideshow containing revenue projections for her stupid, dumb-ass project.

Doesn’t she realize that her projects are freakin’ BORING? No technical challenge. And who wants to sully his hands fixing some other engineer’s code? Disgusting — like sloppy seconds. None for you, thank you. You need excitement in your life. You need to create something cool, something from scratch, something you can brag about or at least put on your resume. Her project does not qualify.

Read the rest at the CPM blog

Share :
  • Print
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • email
  • Twitter

Facebook comments:

2 Comments

  • I think the start-up company hiring the person should tell him its short-term and long-term goals, and its future vision. And he should be clearly told that what’s going to be his role, and how could he play a role in the success of the company.

    Don’t make him feel as he is an employee, instead, try to promote the love of the company, and the love of the company’s product/service inside him.

    Start-up companies here usually don’t create a motivating environment. Employees don’t know what are their roles; they don’t have any goals; they are just working on the daily commands of their bosses.

  • jameswillisisthebest

    This is my first post
    just saying HI

Leave a Reply


*

Recent Posts

  • General Qurtaba takes their Urdu App to Kindle

    Qurtaba takes their Urdu App to Kindle

    Team at Qurtaba have added another front to their impressive Urdu language based apps, they have launched their Alif Bay Pay app for Amazon Kindle, as well. Earlier it was released on iTunes.

    I love what Qurtaba are doing in a niche area of Urdu Language. Although their start was from Nan-Map for which they now have an iPhone App.There love for Urdu language related apps has been flourishing in recent months. Most of their apps are doing very well on app store, some impressive numbers for their popular Urdu apps are as follows.

    Urdu Writer: 10K downloads in 3 months – average 200 downloads…

    Read more →
  • Featured Startup General Food Connection Pakistan

    Food Connection Pakistan

    I happened to be in Quetta on a business trip last month with no idea of where to dine alone. Being a typical Lahoriite, a die-hard food lover, it matters to me that I try the best food of the place I visit. So this is where FCPakistan came to my rescue. I simply logged in, typed in my desired specifications and got atleast 5 suggestions.

    The listing included their opening times, specific facilities like ease for physically disabled customers, credit card acceptance, smoking areas, take away facility, whether valet parking was available or not, and even directions to get there! What more could you want.

    Although that was the…

    Read more →
  • Featured Startup General FourQuants.com Jawwad Farid’s new venture

    FourQuants.com Jawwad Farid’s new venture

    If you have any thing to do with entrepreneurship, its impossible you have not come across Jawwad Farid either in person or in virtual world of his blogs and judging different events realting to startups in Pakistan.  He is also the author of Reboot which we reviewed a while back.

    Jawwad has been writing on Finance, Risk and Treasury for some time now on learning corporate finance.

    I guess that has lead to  FourQuants.com. FourQuants helps people understand concepts related to finance. Following topics are mentioned in about us section of the website

    • Risk management
    • Derivatives products
    • Option pricing models
    • Basel and capital adequacy regulation
    • Financial modeling
    • Treasury

    Read more →
  • Coffee Session General Marketing/Adv OLX Pakistan Investing heavily in advertisement

    OLX Pakistan Investing heavily in advertisement

    OLX is a global online retailer and auction site. They have an impressive footprint in a little less than 100 countries, each with their own specific domain (like .pk for Pakistan and .in for India).

    In Pakistan they have been operating under olx.com.pk for some time with people using it to sell things online.

    Recently they have started advertising heavily on Television, a medium seldom used by online businesses previously. The ads (two of which have appeared ) are witty and fun to watch.

    The most important factor of these adds is that they are being advertised on media which previously none of our online businesses have used.

    Most of…

    Read more →
  • General TiE, All Asia Business Plan Competition

    TiE, All Asia Business Plan Competition

    Round 1 of TiE is about to reach its completion on 22nd of Jan, 2012 at Marriott, Islamabad in which ten teams will participate. Four teams will be shortlisted for the level 2. I also had the opportunity to participate in TiE All Asia Business Plan Competition 2012 along with my team members in the first few stages of level 1. Although we didn’t have the chance to go beyond stage1 but just participating helped us understand our own idea better and to polish our proposed technique along with development of a solid business plan. TiE all Asia Business Plan Competition provides a platform for generation and development of new…

    Read more →
  • Announcements General Mobile Apps Software & I.T. TenPearls Launches Multi-Platform Mobile Apps for Dawn Media Group

    TenPearls Launches Multi-Platform Mobile Apps for Dawn Media Group

    TenPearls has announced the successful delivery of mobile apps for Dawn.com on multiple platforms,   including Apple iOS (iPad and iPhone), Android and Symbian (Nokia). The mobile apps have received great feedback from the users from around the world. It may be worth mentioning here that DAWN.COM is the #1 English News website from Pakistan averaging over 16 million page views a month, and 3.1 million unique visitors from around the world.

    More details can be accessed at mobile apps for Dawn Media Group by TenPearls.

    Read more →
  • General Second Pakistan Blog Awards by CIO Faces severe criticism

    Second Pakistan Blog Awards by CIO Faces severe criticism

    CIO Pakistan started blog awards last year. Its is a good sign when some one takes initiative and starts some thing new. However its also difficult to introduce this into an already budding field of new media in Pakistan. Last years (or two years back now since its 2012)  Awards were initiated so as it is expected it faced initial growing up pains. It always takes time for such thing to wins the trust of the community. And bloggers are one of the most hard people to win over, most of these are rebels in their own rights people who have started blogging to show the world their opinion…

    Read more →
  • Featured Startup General Do We Vote : A great statistical tool by PakReport.org

    Do We Vote : A great statistical tool by PakReport.org

    Pakreport.org a tool which was instrumental in gathering statistics during the massive flooding in Pakistan, has created another study/stats gathering tool for our electoral activities. Interestingly its called do we vote

    With political scene in Pakistan heating up it provides very valuable information to party supporters and their leaders.  A quick look at it shows the all known facts that people in rural areas take their voting more seriously than all of us supposedly educated and enlightened urban population.

    Pakreport.org was an initiative launched by Faisal Chohan of BrightSpyre during the floods, the effort enabled people on the ground to send sms (the most spread out communication medium in country)…

    Read more →
  • Featured Startup General Stay for the work not the perks

    Stay for the work not the perks

    This is a revelation that came to me when I recently quit my comfy corporate job for the second time. If you are below 40 and some one asks you about how is your job going and your answer is not in tune of “I like my job because I love the work”. 

    You need to pause and asses your career, last time I answered this question my answer was “I like the job, because the benefits are good”, and that made me think (offcourse there were other factors as well). But if you are doing a job in which to satisfy your own self you have to look at…

    Read more →